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March 23 life's lessonsthe fan mail continues to pour in, the masses wait on tenterhooks, begging for more, and so i decided to drop a quick line and resurrect this gasping, pulseless blog. contrary to what most people imagine, it isn't the new harry potter book that's on everyone's mind, but the Mystery of the Missing Person!
recently i found myself in a couple of amusing situations. the first one started as mundanely as every other ward day, with me standing in front of a ward filled with patients, screaming out their names, while occasionally one of them deigns to raise a finger skywards and draw attention to where they are sitting. most of them look around sleepily in a drug/disease induced stupor, while their relatives who should be responding continue to stare blankly in their permanently stuporous states. so the other day, i found myself with a syringe in one hand and a spirit dotted swab int he other screaming "bhagwan, kaun hai? bhagwan kaun hai?" like a crazy woman when a friend of mine started laughing. we both had to agree that this was a funny way to find out the Truth that many a philosopher and saint have spent lifetimes pursuing. in my mind's eye i saw myself as a bag lady in the streets of New York with a white placard hanging around my neck saying - BHAGWAN KAUN HAI? MAIN AAPKA KHOON LENA CHAHITI HOON!" lesson #1: dont call your child Bhagwan! it's high praise!
the second instance came in true Medical Sitcom-style. 30 Male patient bitten by a snake, comes into the Casualty on his own, speaking an unintelligible dialect. my Houseman asks him "which snake has bitten you?" the patient mumbles the name in his local dialect, leaving the houseman and me at a loss. finally i pop up with a question "saap ke sir pe chashma tha kya?" lesson#2: don't come to me if you are bitten by a snake! |
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